To help you decide if the collaborative process would be better than a litigated divorce or separation, consider the following as applied to your family and your situation:

• Would you prefer to move on with your life rather than perpetuate a court battle and antagonistic relationship with your spouse or partner?


• Would you rather control how your life and the lives of your family members will be after the divorce or separation, including custody and financial issues, or would you be willing to leave those decisions in the hands of a judge?


• Are you willing to participate in face-to-face meetings with your spouse or partner and the collaborative team members?


• Are you willing to deal with the difficult emotional aspects that may be present in your situation, for either or both of you, and for your children, with the assistance and guidance of team members?


• Is one of your priorities making sure that each family member has what they need to move forward with their lives, feeling emotionally intact and secure?


• Would you like to keep your personal issues private, or are you willing to have them aired publicly in court files and court proceedings?


• Do you and your spouse or partner believe that you should make your children a priortiy, emotionally and financially, both during and after the divorce or separation?


• Do you want to alleviate the emotional stress and arguments when communicating with your spouse or partner?


• Do you want to be able to communicate respectfully and effectively, and enjoy a good relationship, with your spouse or partner and your children, both during and after the divorce or separation?


• Would you like to have the kind of family relationships in the future that would allow your children to feel comfortable inviting both their parents to the special events in their lives, like high school or college graduations, weddings, and holidays?


• Do you want to be treated with respect and dignity during the divorce or separation?  And are you willing to treat your spouse or partner with respect and dignity?

Choosing a collaborative process means that you value an approach to divorce, separation, or other family issues that focuses on reaching solutions that you both agree are best for the enitre family. If you answered "yes" to all or most of the above questions, you should seriously consider the collaborative process. Talk with a collaboratively trained professional to see if the collaborative process is the right one in your individual situation, for you and your spouse or partner. Please see the Our Professionals section of this website to find a collaboratively trained professional in your area.